True Categorical Imperative Finally Discovered!

In a stunning turn of events bound to force the re-writing of countless textbooks and syllabi, the Holy Grail of Ethics was discovered at 7:46 pm Saturday, May 25th in Harrisburg, PA. Interviews with those at the scene report that Silvia Leonard attempted to, without contradiction, not will to see Amazing Grace, the long-delayed concert footage of Aretha Franklin recording, before a live audience in a church in 1972, the greatest selling gospel album of all time of the same name. After hours of struggle she proved it was impossible.

Leonard’s conclusion was quickly confirmed by Toronto philosopher Sergio Tenenbaum. Tenenbaum however maintains that this conclusion would have been more easily deduced from Kant’s Formula of Humanity, and that Kant himself was working on a similar result and would have succeeded had he not failed to carry the 1 in his argument.

Leonard reportedly was underwhelmed with the gravity of her finding. She is reported to have said “Duh, it is Aretha in her prime. C’mon philosophers, this stuff is not that hard.”